June 25, 2013 #2

Alright, So I finished emailing everyone else back and emailing President Killpack and stuff so I guess I'll tell you more about my experiences so far.

The MTC

The MTC is an interesting place. There is a tree that smells like cream soda. The orange juice is deadly. And the only recognizable food is the salad. We wake up by 6:30 every single day. We are in class for six hours a day. These are all things I knew before I got there, so I was expecting this place to be quite interesting. I expected physical and mental exhaustion. What I wasn't expecting was the physical and emotional exhaustion that came along with it. Never in my life have I felt so drained of everything in me. On the other hand, never in my life have I felt so lifted and inspired and energized. There is a power that comes from being there. You get there and in the first two days, it is basically guaranteed that you will crumble to the floor and then melt into a puddle of your own tears. Self doubt is quite common. You break down, and then you ask God for help. I got a blessing from one of the Elders in my district, who I love dearly, very soon after I got there. After Sunday, it is all downhill. I don't know if I was just in a trance from being so overwhelmed or if it just really hadn't hit me yet that I was actually doing God's work. But that next week was a breeze. I felt focused in class. I learned more than I ever have in my life. I had a lot of really neat experiences. My favorite was singing in the worldwide broadcast. Not necessarily singing, but while we were waiting for the meeting to start, I was freezing. I suddenly felt the entire atmosphere change, and looked down to see what was going on. The quorum of the twelve had walked in. Instantaneously, I had goosebumps. Not because I was cold, but because I felt warm and comfortable and peaceful. It was the coolest thing I have ever felt in my life. There were a lot of things that were challenging about the MTC, but it was the best twelve days of my whole life. It was hard work, but I know that even if I went home right after, I would never be the same. My capacity to love has increased so much, and my understanding of how much each of us mean to our Father in Heaven grew exponentially. We did an exercise where we talked with someone in our district, and we were challenged at one point to pause and allow the Holy Ghost to manifest truth unto us. As I sat there waiting to feel an impression, this overwhelming power came upon me and I burst into tears. I caught a glimpse of how much God loves each of us so insanely much. It absolutely blew my mind. I loved the MTC. It was so incredible. I can't even do it justice to describe it. It probably doesn't help that I'm rambling trying to tie my thoughts together in these last few minutes that I have available on the computer.

I love you, mom!

Sister Chatterton

June 25, 2013 #1

I don't have much time to email today, hopefully I will have more time next week, but expect a letter soon. I need the address for pageant so I can write y'all, cause I can write nightly. I only have thirty minutes to an hour for email. I love my trainer, Sister Eyre. She's Spanish speaking, and said she would love to teach me! I'm serving in the West District. Avrah (sp?). It's SUPER hot here. They told me I can get a Camelback backpack and some mace (sp?). So I'll be safe. ;) hahahaha. I love it here already. President Killpack and his wife are amazing. The food yesterday was super good. OH. I'm living in a trailer probably. Also I've seen like ten people I know who are serving here. WEIRD.

LOVE YOU SUPER LOTS!

Sister Chatterton

First Few Days at the MTC (Missionary Training Center)

We (mom and dad) received a written letter from Paige in the mail yesterday with much more information contained in it then the email we had received earlier in the week.  I'll keep out the more personal items and post the remainder.  (I'll share information within parentheses unless it's in quotes, then it would be Paige's parenthetical comment).   This whole blog thing is new for me and so as soon as I have my good friend Dana help me figure it out then it should be much more attractive to see and more interesting to read.  Be patient.  The current content is awesome enough but it should look better soon!  Keep reading.

Dear Mom and Dad,

So yesterday was my first day in the MTC.  I stepped out of the car and heard, "SISTER CHATTERTON!!"  I turn around & Elder McKay Allman is standing there.  It was nice to see a friendly face when I got there.  I take my stuff to my room and get my tag, and as I'm walking to meet my district I ran into Elder Andrew Gravelle and Elder Dustin Hicken.  I met my district and my companion, Sister Bosshardt.  She's a total sweetheart and I love her.  She reminds me a little bit of Jennifer, McKenna's friend.  Then we all went to an orientation thing.  We sang a lot.  That made my happy, then we went to dinner.  The food here is gross and hurts my stomach so I think I'll stick with the salad bar for the rest of the time.  After dinner we had a teaching experience.  Converts came in and told their story like they were current investigators (people learning about the church from missionaries).  They asked us questions.  One man, George, had an amputated leg from serving during a war.  I actually got up and bore my testimony about how God can help us understand the reasons for our trials if we pray.  After that we went back to the room and unpacked.

This morning my companion and I woke up at 5:30 to work out and get ready.  Surprisingly enough, I was ready by 6:50.  That's only impressive because I blow-dried & and straightened my hair.  After that we had personal study time.  I read Alma 5-10.  There was alot in there that could help me with teaching this gospel.  Then I went to the bookstore and bought shampoo and conditioner (cause she left hers in Kirsten's car).  Oops.  Went to breakfast and got a bowl of fruit (safe food).  Went and did a few assessments online and then had companion study (scripture study with companion).  We got in some really interesting conversations about effective study habits (I would love to have heard those!)  Then we had classroom instruction.  We talked about how important it is to really learn to love those you serve.  While I am here my companion and I will be giving lessons to Everett, a 22-year old agnostic man whose friend is serving a mission. Then I went to lunch.  I got a chicken something salad.  The chicken was gross alone but other than that it was good.  So I'm sitting my tray down and across the table next to me I see Elder Packer (Justin!).  So naturally, I ran over and shook hands with his companion!  I met his entire district by the end of lunch.  Apparently they all knew about me.  He got moved up to the advanced Spanish class ("Shocker").  I'm already awkward around him. It's great.  After lunch we had a workshop on how to love those we will be serving.  I guess that's pretty important.  Then we had an MTC orientation.  It was cool.  Then dinner.  They have wraps that are really good.  After dinner we had a meeting with our branch president.  I was asked to be the musical director.  Super cool.  Then we went on a tour of the MTC and went to bed.

This morning we did a service project.  Sister Bosshardt and I mopped and swept closets.  The guy in charge was WAY funny and we talked a lot of the time.  Then we got dressed and went to breakfast and guess who I ran into?  Elder Packer.  He and his companion sat with us.  He told me that he missed me and I said "nope".  It totally freaked him out.  He asked if I still liked him and I said, "yes, but that's not what either of us should focus on, so tell me about your experience here."  (I ONLY share that because many of you knew that they would overlap and you have wondered, as have I, how that would go and if it would be a distraction so that should be the only significant Elder Packer information I share on her blog!!)  I liked hearing about his classes and his companion and everything.  I really think this will be good, as long as we stay focused on what is important.  The work.  Sister Bosshardt and I planned our lesson for Everett.  We are going to teach him about how to pray and how to exercise faith.

Love,  Sister Chatterton

P.S.  I RAN INTO SATAN THE OTHER DAY!!  (Family joke)

a particle of faith

In one week from today, I will be heading off to the MTC to begin my (formal) training to become an ambassador of the Lord; a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I say "formal" training, because when I think back on my life, everything I have ever done has been preparing me for this very moment. God has been allowing me to be put in the flames of trials in the hopes that I would become refined and ready to share my testimony with the people of Tucson.

To be completely honest, I have never been so excited and nervous for anything in my life. And that's really saying something considering I get really excited and nervous about quite a few things - like cooking dinner, for example. I know that if I work towards it, I will become more like my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. And that is my goal in life; to become as Christlike as possible.

Most people would think that I'm crazy for giving up a year and a half of my life to go teach and serve the people of Tucson. I'm nineteen years old, a sophomore in a college that I love, with plenty of time to grow up. So why now? Why would I choose to leave all of this behind? To be away from most forms of communication with those whom I love most for such a long time? Well..

I have grown up in this church. I was baptized on my eighth birthday. I went to church nearly every Sunday. I didn't really have a testimony of my own, but I believed Jesus loved me, and that I wanted to be with my family forever. I lived in Japan from when I was five until I was eight, and my family moved back to Texas. I was a little bit of an outcast when I got home. I was the weird girl who sang to myself at recess, and had a bit of an attitude. I made a few friends in church, though, and by sixth grade I was as normal as any twelve year old can be.

When I was fourteen, the winds started really blowing. I was going through some really hard times, and just felt abandoned by everyone. My family, however, stuck by my side. My little sister became my best friend. My mother became my protector. But I was slipping. I didn't want to go to church anymore, because I felt like I didn't fit in. But I still attended every week, hoping that I would have some epiphany that it was all true. That God did love me, because just believing wasn't going to be enough for me. I had to know for myself. But I wasn't willing to put in the effort to find out. I wanted the answers handed to me.

I struggled for three years. I was too stubborn and too proud to just get down on my knees and ask God, "who giveth to all men liberally", whether or not He existed. I was afraid to hear the answer. Whether that was because I had become comfortable in my uncertainty, or if it was because I didn't want to change, I'm still not sure. But finally things got so bad that I HAD to know. There was no way around it.

I was at a church camp, and for the first time in three years, I honestly prayed from the bottom of my heart. My soul ached, and I just let everything out. I told God that if I didn't receive an answer, I wasn't going to go back to church.  I prayed for thirty minutes, and afterwards, I waited for an answer. I stayed on my knees for forty-five minutes, expecting some huge revelation. I felt nothing. I got tired and angry and heartbroken. So I just gave up and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up with the distinct thought "Alma 32:27". I wasn't sure why this scripture popped into my head, given the fact that I had never read the Book of Mormon before. At this camp, every morning, we get some time to read our scriptures and reflect. So that's what I did. I looked up Alma 32:27. It read:

"behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words."

I had never felt anything hit me so hard. I couldn't deny the feeling of peace I felt as I knew God existed, and not only that, He heard my prayer and cared enough about me to answer it personally. I knew that changing my life and my attitude towards life would be worth the while. I made a promise to myself that day that I would do everything God asked me to do. Which brings me to the next summer..

My family participates in the Hill Cumorah Pageant every summer. It is the spectacular play in Palmyra, New York, about the Book of Mormon. We break into age groups for the free time that we aren't in rehearsal. One day my group leaders took us up to the top of the hill, and blindfolded us. They played soft music about Christ, and passed around items that represented Him. We were up there for awhile so we could have some time to reflect. This thought popped into my head. "You need to prepare to serve a mission."What?!

Okay, don't get me wrong. But at the time, sister missionaries couldn't go out on their missions until they were twenty-one. And Mormons get married pretty young, so when everyone had told me my entire life that I would probably serve a mission one day, I was a little offended. Like, GREAT. Thanks for thinking I'll never get married. Y'all are awesome. Why don't I just become a nun instead?!

But having made that promise, I thought, "I mean.. Okay. That's three years from now. But I guess.. I'll.. read my scriptures more?" I told my mom my intentions of serving a mission, and she just laughed at me. She said, "Hahaha, alright if you can make it that long without getting married, we can talk about it.."

Then last October a HUGE announcement was made at the annual conference. Women were now able to serve missions at the age of nineteen! *GULP* I knew in my heart that was why I was told that I needed to start preparing, so I prayed. Everything made sense to me. I needed to go on a mission, as soon as possible.

The reason why I am sacrificing a year and a half of my youth to serve the people of Tucson, Arizona, is simply because I know God is real. I know this church is the true church of God. I want others to feel the peace I feel, with the knowledge that I have. I want to share the blessings of having an eternal family with everyone, because that is the biggest blessing in my life. I want to show God how much I love him by obeying Him. I cannot deny that my Heavenly Father told me that I need to be serving this mission. And that is reason enough for me to "give up" a year and a half of my time. But when I think about it, serving a mission isn't giving anything up at all; it will help me grow exponentially, and I know my family and I will be blessed. I know my very own testimony will be strengthened. I'm grateful for this opportunity to serve, and even more grateful for my families support in doing so.

See y'all in a year and a half! Until then, I will be emailing my mom once a week, and she will be updating this blog.